Philip John

Philip John

April 2^nd, 1987

Today I honor the son

I never got to know.

Philip John Noyes,

his birthdate and angel date,

is the same April 2, 1987.

Philip was stillborn;

he would have been

33 years old today.

Philip,

we lovingly anticipated

your birth.

We were excitedly

telling your two siblings

about your pending arrival.

We made plans for you

and prepared a room for you.

We dreamed of how our lives

would change with you in it.

Given a name you were.

But you only blessed us

with the nine months

you were in the womb.

Oh, how we grieved

losing you so soon.

Oh, how we wished

we could have held you

and played with you,

how we wanted to see

who you would become.

We only got to keep you

in our arms

just once;

to say goodbye,

to wonder why.

Jane, your mom,

left to be with you

nearly ten years ago,

having never resolved 

the enormous grief

of losing you.

It took

my grieving your mom

to finally come

to a closure

of losing you.

My views

about life, love, and death

are dramatically different now.

Your mother's transition

brought me to a 

spiritually

transformative

experience;

that STE

radically altered

my concept of reality.

A shift in perception

that led me on a journey

into my spiritual nature

that is still going on today.

That is ever-evolving

into a deeper understanding

of my spiritualness.

It eventually led me

to heal from your

sudden and

unexpected transition

from this thing

we humans call life.

Lost to me, you no longer are,

you exist in another realm;

one of unconditional love and light.

My continuing spiritual journey

and the medium Suzanne Giesemann

helped bring me

to that understanding

when she brought both you

and your mom through

in a reading.

Yes, Philip,

I still and will forever

miss sharing your physical presence.

I will forever miss

seeing you and experiencing you

growing into a young man.

But I know

your energetic presence

is forever with me.

I know my

loving thoughts and words

are received by you.

In the world of Love and Light,

where you and your mom are

all is energy, all is known.

And for that,

I am grateful

for the journey I have been on.

I am thankful you led me

to ask the question of why?

And I am pleased

that I finally took up the challenge

to dig into the why of it.

I love you,

Philip,

always will,

Dad.