Spiritual Neutral

Spiritual Neutral

Sitting here in a quandary about myself,

feeling as if I have more to give, more to offer,

but I’m stuck in Spiritual neutral.

I put in a lot of work.

I made a ton of progress

doing things I have never imagined I could or even would do.

Then the doubts kick in.  The “who do I think I am” doing this stuff?

I go from making tremendous Spiritual progress

and feeling good about it

to being stuck in neutral.

Doubts hold me back,

failing to take the next step or any step at all.

It all sounds so easy to just to keep on keeping on

but for me, I have a real pattern of self-criticism,

and you’re not good enough

that even when I bust through it once

it rears itself right back up again.

It doesn't matter how hard I try or how good I do

it lurks everywhere I turn.

Frustration turns into stagnation.

How do I shift out of Spiritual neutral

and just step into being who I was meant to be?

Why do I conjure up all these reasons

why I’m not good enough?

Why can’t I just exude self-confidence

like I see others I know do?

I’ve been told to write more and more.

I hesitate even now to write this.

And so it goes.

At least I’m doing something right now

expressing thoughts and questions.

Airing out my dirty laundry so to speak,

maybe that’s the trick?

It’s not about airing it out.

It’s about cleaning it out.

Cleaning out these bad habits of mine.

All My Love Always, Keith

An Inside Look:

"I must look inside myself,to free myself.

I must call upon God's Power

 to face the person I've feared the most,

the True Me.

The Person God created me to be.

Unless I can, or until I do,

I will always be running and never be truly free"

(~~Bill Wilson)