To Where You Are

To Where You Are

09.16.2019

My daughter called last week, late in the day, it was,

unusual for a call after the kid's bedtime.

She told me through some tears

about someone calling her asking for her mom.

I told her it was ok.  Consoling her with

telemarketers don’t know if someone on their list

is deceased even if it’s been nine years.

It was just days before her Angelversary

and touched my daughter’s memories of her mom.

She ends the call with

“I just wanted to hear your voice.”

This comment snags a heartstring in me.

This morning she asks me to be picked up.

She wants to spend the day with a dear friend,

can I take her there?

Her recent car accident has left her

without a vehicle for a bit.

The kids are at school

and she doesn’t want to be alone all day today,

today is the actual Angelversary.

As I set off to pick her up

I’m thinking of her mom, Jane E.

This song I listened to in the early days of my grief

arises in my awareness:

To Where You Are by Josh Groban.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8CWGq8e3Bo

Today even though I long to hear your voice again, Jane E.

I know you are still with us.

You see my daughter called me a couple days after that phone call.

“I’ve got to tell you this, you’ll understand,” she said.

“I’m sitting on the back deck this morning.  Birds are singing all around

and then a cardinal lands on the deck.

I never see cardinals at my house!

It walks up to near my feet and starts chirping away.”

My response was “that’s your mom saying Hi!”

she says “I know.”

I listen to that song today and tears flow yet again.

We miss your physical presence Jane E.

but as the song says:

“And love will live on. And never leave.

Fly me up to where you are.”

Isn’t that what I just related?

A phone call, a thought “I just wanted to hear your voice”

and a cardinal chirping away.

They all fly us up to where you are

and remind us Love never dies

it just changes form.

All My Love Always, Keith